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Instead of parting with the clothing of lost loved ones during the difficult times of end of life, consider giving them new life as memory pillows. This approach not only honors their memory but also aligns with the principles of advance care planning and deathcare. A death doula can help guide you through these meaningful decisions, ensuring that your loved ones' legacies are celebrated.
Contemplate, decide, and document your end of life wishes through advance care planning. This process is crucial in the realm of deathcare, and working with a death doula can help ease the journey. Additionally, consider creating a memory pillow to cherish those special moments.
Explore options, resources, and best practices in community deathcare, including advance care planning, the role of a death doula, and ways to honor loved ones through memory pillows at the end of life.
Hello future descendants,
Thank you for stopping by. I am Liz Valdez James, Founder and Keeper of Death Douliz, LLC. With a 30-year professional background in social work, this chapter of my career is dedicated to advancing community deathcare by combining my knowledge, love, and skills.
As a certified death doula and a graduate of Going With Grace's End-of-Life Doula training program, I specialize in advance care planning, helping individuals identify and share their wishes before the need arises. Additionally, I create and transform textiles into memory pillows, serving as a comforting keepsake for loved ones.
CONTACT ME FOR MORE INFORMATION/PRICING:
PHONE: 954-391-1074
EMAIL: engage@deathdouliz.com
Dear Louise,
It feels wrong to call you by your first name-- sort of disrespectful like I should be calling you Ms. Pollard as your students did. You were the kind of teacher a person grows up and reflects on how they impacted their life.
Dear Lord, how the parents clawed their way past one another to get their little ones in your first grade class. One parent confessed she would sneak in to your class right after you prepared it for the new school year just to give her child a "sneak peek" into the wonderful world they would be entering with you as their new teacher (cuh-reepy if you ask me).
I don't think you would have been any different if you and John had children of your own-- you had genuine love for the kids and were their biggest cheerleader. John would ask if it was really necessary to bring back 28 souvenirs from your summer cruises. You'd say it most certainly was necessary.
Louise, I've learned quite a bit about the terrible disease that led to your demise. To an observer, it looks like ALS takes a person's functions and freedoms one by one. I can't imagine how you struggled to hide your losses-- gripping and dropping a marker, going from walking to needing a power wheelchair, and finally needing a ventilator.
Here is where I tip my hat to you, Ms. Pollard. You realized you were going to die from ALS and began your advance care planning with John. You both cried (a lot) together, but then you mobilized to get things in order, from your students' progress notes to the details of your personal affairs. John tells the story (a lot) that the school supplies you had stored-- and hidden-- at home would be given to your favorite teachers at the school as a lasting memory.
As you prepared for your end of life, you even thought about how your legacy would continue through those you taught. Farewell, Ms. Pollard, and thank you for the love you gave to all who had the privilege to know you. You showed us all the importance of caring for one another in life and deathcare.
Warm (final) wishes,
Death Doula
Think of advance care planning as a two-way gift that ensures your family or trusted circle won’t need to guess your wishes regarding end of life decisions. It also provides you with peace of mind, knowing that your desires will be respected and honored, whether it involves a death doula, planning for deathcare, or even creating a memory pillow to cherish your legacy.
Author: Stephen P. Kiernan
Too many patients today suffer needlessly at the end of life, subjected to excessive machinery, unjustified interventions, and futile treatments. There is a better way — through the dignified, humane, and compassionate models of hospice and palliative care, which include advance care planning and the support of a death doula. This book reveals the problem and shows a loving way forward, offering insights into deathcare and even the comfort of a memory pillow.
Loved: How Kiernan artfully wove stories and research-backed substance into discussions of advance care planning and deathcare. I kept stopping to tab pages and jot down notes for future reference, especially regarding the role of a death doula in end of life scenarios.
Would have liked: In-text citation (or at least mention of the referenced study) but he did a lovely job of listing sources at the end of the book, which I found useful, particularly when considering ideas like creating a memory pillow.